well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
