hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am available for nakedness
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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