at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My penis needs a shock collar
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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