who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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