OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
