drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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