great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
