I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
