just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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