Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
