you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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