Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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