I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
