STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize