I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
the day after is always just damage control
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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