What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
