Sry I called you an 8
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
is it fun? or sober?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
