im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
