I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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