Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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