Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
