Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
