im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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