I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
