What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
