I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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