She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
