Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
