I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
