I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
