I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
