You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He better not be in your backpack
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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