if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm like, not good at living.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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