He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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