Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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