Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
