The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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