There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my being single is dangerous.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
