You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
