I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
His hands were made for my vagina.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
