i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
