i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
