wat bout pragnant strippers??
Jerry, you need to find god
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
