New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
