Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
