haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
