Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize