this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
