I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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