I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
