You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
