Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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