Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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