You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
