One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
