do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
