I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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