Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
