I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
